Modesty Matters: My Best Tips to Dress with Grace & Elegance

Why Modesty Matters

This was genuinely a question I had a few years ago when I started this journey. For context: three or four years ago? Sis was giving “show it all, no mystery.” Everything was out there for the world to see, and honestly, I didn’t see a single thing wrong with it. Wild, right?

What was beautiful about my journey is that God changed my heart FIRST. What you see now is literally just an outward expression of what’s been happening inside. Modesty matters – the Bible speaks on it – but I don’t want to reduce it to just clothes. It’s a heart posture too.

Let’s be real: the world will tell you to wear whatever, whenever, however, for whoever. I can’t subscribe to that anymore. The Lord asks us to dress with grace and dignity because when people see you, you’re a reflection of Him. How I dressed before? Girl, nobody would’ve guessed I was a Christian. Not a chance.

Building a Modest Wardrobe

Okay, practical tips time! First things first: we’re gonna have to purge some clothes. Those club dresses? Girl, I had so many and I wasn’t even going to the club. Where was I wearing them – the grocery store?!

Start with prayer and fasting, letting the Lord guide what stays and what goes. For some people it’s overnight obedience – boom, everything out. For others it’s gradual: “These booty shorts gotta go… this crop top ain’t working for me anymore.” Listen to God and use discernment.

Once you purge, you have room for new pieces! My go-to modest wardrobe staples:

Oversized two-piece sets (these got me THROUGH, minimal effort but put-together), blazers and oversized button-ups, dresses and skirts (easy one-and-done outfits), oversized sweaters, wide-leg pants (so cute, comfortable, AND modest), layering pieces like cardigans and jackets. And when in doubt? Accessorize! A bland outfit transforms with a cute bag, earrings, or bracelets. Gold accessories are my love language.

Now whenever I shop, my mindset is: “Is this glorifying the Lord or glorifying my flesh?” That’s a HARD question. It forces you to choose obedience. But the Lord is gentle and kind – He’ll walk you through it.

Outfit Ideas for Every Occasion

Church: My favourite day is Sunday because I get to dress up and “get pretty for Jesus.” A beautiful long skirt, cute white top, layered with a jacket, and gold accessories everywhere. Perfect example of covered AND cute – you’re stylish without showing it all.

Date Night: This is where I add a little spice – it’s me and my HUSBAND, okay? An oversized slouchy sweater with patterned pants adds dimension while keeping things reeled in. For me, a shoulder is enough. Anything past that? We gotta reel it back because we’re still in public!

Gym: Real talk – someone commented asking why I don’t dress modest at the gym and my first response was “nuck if you buck” 😭 But then I sat with it, and literally last week God was like “okay, time to level up.” So now: oversized pullovers with athletic sweats. Finding affordable dupes matters because revamping your wardrobe gets pricey – Hanes and Amazon over Gymshark prices any day.

Everyday Mom Life: Two-piece sets from Amazon are EVERYTHING. Oversized shirt, wide-leg pants, covered and comfortable. Dress it up with accessories if needed, or just handle your business looking put-together.

A Word on Conviction

Modesty means something different for everyone. God may convict you on something He’s not convicting someone else about. Don’t use your convictions to judge others – that’s a word for somebody. Be patient with people the same way God is patient with you.

Final Encouragement

You don’t clean yourself up to get into a shower – you get in the shower to clean yourself up. Same with Jesus. You don’t need to have it all together to come to Him. When I gave my entire heart to Jesus two years ago, HE did the transforming. He put it on my heart to change how I dress, how I speak, everything.

How to Dress Modestly and Still Look Stylish and Modern

Modest outfits look their best when you focus on shape, not skin. You can cover more and still look chic if you build clear lines and avoid drowning in fabric. Modesty feels elegant when you look intentional.

Common mistakes:

• Everything is oversized and long, so you lose your waist and proportions.

• You layer bulky fabrics and the outfit feels heavy.

• You choose pieces that wrinkle or cling and feel uncomfortable.

Make modest looks feel elevated:

• Define your waist with a belt, tailoring, or a structured layer.

• Use lighter fabrics for layering so you don’t add bulk.

• Choose necklines and sleeves that feel clean, not fussy.

A simple modest outfit formula:

• Long skirt or wide trousers + fitted top layer + longline blazer or coat + sleek shoe

When you dress modestly with structure and balance, you look polished, not covered up.